number 9 the ninth

Back in the day when I was an innocent child- well more innocent than I am now, (mwuhahahaha) I attended the Junior Chefs Academy at Thomas Danby College. My chef, one Timothy Bilton had many a nickname for me, for a period of time I was known as Watership Down because of my tendency to eat raw herbs. However the name that stuck the most was the ironically termed Lightning. 3 guesses why... my need for speed is legendary...ahem..
When I left the academy with fond memories,I followed Tim's career ,some may call it borderline stalkerish and you can imagine my excitement when a certain Timothy appeared on the Great British Menu. I learnt that he now owned the Butchers' Arms in Hepworth, Huddersfield and I have always been meaning to go.

This 'bucket list' gives me just another excuse to do the things that I've always wanted to do so it was high time for me to pay my old mate Tim a visit.

The Butchers' Arms prides itself on using local stuff, the ingredients used to make up the menu  are locally sourced, even the decorations in the restaurant are made by local craftsmen such as the coat rack made of forks and spoons or the unusual looking clock.

I know that you are all dying to know what I ate and oh my it was good grub.
To start, I had goose liver parfait and in the words of all good tasters,,om nom nom nom. For main, a steak and kidney pie, the peas were served in a little copper pan and a small strainer for the chips - its all about the presentation I'll have you know.

Pudding was a more confuddling affair as I want it all and I want it now. The mother, sister and I had two deserts between the three of us, a sticky toffee pudding and an ice cream plate which consisted of midnight mint mmmmmm, rhubarb and custard, heavenly and white chocolate and cherry ripple, even more heavenly = )

Tim came to say hello at this point and told us of his endeavours. The sister was impressed that he would still recognise me, but who could forget my face..lol

Walk like an Egyptian - belly dancing part 2

Walk like an Egyptian

The integrated section of the DVD not only had me putting the different steps together but also with movement - help!!!

As I may or may not have mentioned before the kind of belly dancing that I am learning is Egyptian, I am not sure what exactly the difference between Egyptian and other forms of belly dance is but my mate Lelia (the woman on the DVD) says that Egyptian belly dance you keep your leg straight i.e. don''t really bend your knees.

I therefore got excited when there was a section on the disc call the Egyptian walk - how exciting- alas it was not what I expected, with the funky hand moves and bobbing your head. You actually had to walk whilst popping your hip up and down, maybe I should walk like that next time I go into town. Like Joey says on Friends ( the pearl of all wisdom) maybe I need a new walk.

The last lesson in the integrated section was moving whilst doing hip circles/figure eights and all that jazz, if your confused right now don't worry, so was I. Basically when your doing a circle, when your weight is on the opposite side you move your leg, so when your in the right section of the circle you move your left leg (luckily this is not the way it was explained to me as seeing as telling my right from left is rather challenging.)

Balance comes in handy when you have to turn, side stepping and hip circling at the same time, its like turning on one leg.....and she topples over . Fortunately for me and unfortunately for any furniture (or any bunny) that gets in the way I now get to do full on dances- PEOPLE BEWARE!!!

Maybe I should get a costume?

feeling snakey- belly dancing part 1

Feeling snakey
I thought it would be easier, cheaper and less scarring to others if I learnt to belly dance via DVD, hence afternoons spent in front of the telly popping and locking.

Firstly it must be learnt that you must clean the frosting out of the bowl - yes this woman is for real. I am scraping metaphorical frosting out of metaphorical bowls and picking up metaphorical basketballs....erm ok then.

My arms have to be snakey, its all about the serpentine y'all!

The next lesson to be learnt (actually its the third and fourth but whose counting)  is how to pop your hip, then to roll it, then both together. Starting to get a tad confuzzled right about now. I also had the pleasure nay the privilege of learning hip circles. Fun times, fun times, this where we are grateful for only putting the DVD on when no one else is in the house.

At the moment shimmies are the bane of my life, not only do I have to shimmy ( moving my knees back and forth really really fast) but I also have to do hip circles at the same time. I know that as a women I'm supposed to be good at multi-tasking and all that but this is really taking the biscuit.

The next two steps that we learn on this magical mystery tour are camels and horses- incredibly yes they are indeed called camels and horses. This introduces footwork oh dear god!!

This concludes the basic section, if this is basic, I dread to think what comes next.........t.b.c...

they violated my face! - number 12

fskdhfjejfktlldjd - actually it didn't hurt that much

The brow bar of debenhams was the host of my torture and what fun it was. I have been told on occasion that I have a mono brow so when I rang the sister she sighed a sigh of relief "finally"

The first problem we encountered was that I couldn't understand what the women was saying to me, she had to show me through gestures , no your hand doesn't go there, hold the skin taut and......ouchy

They violated my face and I had to pay for the privilege, what madness is this!